Your signature scent for extremely logged-on life.
Crumb goblin
Opening with the unmistakable aroma of 3AM screen glow and caffeinated anxiety, this fragrance captures the essence of someone who hasn't touched grass since 2019. The heart notes reveal Twitter drama accord and Reddit karma farming, while base notes of unwashed hoodie and abandoned blue light glasses ground this distinctly digital bouquet.
Perfect for: doom scrolling, parasocial relationships, and telling strangers they're wrong online. Not recommended for grass touching or eye contact.
Notes:
Top: Notification dopamine, energy drink vapors
Heart: Hot laptop exhaust, righteous keyboard warrior energy
Base: Dorito dust, premium subscription regret
The scent quietly whispers: "Just one more scroll..."
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